IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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