her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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