My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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