This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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