Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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