Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
