Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
