Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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