she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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