I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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