I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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