He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
