your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize