I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The ass gains better be worth it
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