I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
