The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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