right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
