Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
