Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
