Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
