Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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