Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize