My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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