Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
