Cold hands, warm shart.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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