I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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