would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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