Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
