I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
