I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
