Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He shit in the fireplace
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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