All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
