i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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