NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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