I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
