I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
