Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
