woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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