Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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