come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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