Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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