it was like eating out sand paper
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
