Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
