i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Randomize
