i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
