I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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