It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
