sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Houston, we have a blender
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
