I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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