I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
