I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
