what if every blade of grass was a penis?
high people should be assigned attendants
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
