please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
