It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize