these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
