the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Randomize
