Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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