I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
