who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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