the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
