I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
