Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We need a shit load of segways right now
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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